How do you measure happiness?
My key takeaways from a crash-course in Positive Psychology on how to measure and improve your overall happiness
Whoop whoop - just completed the "Foundations of Positive Psychology" five-course specialization offered by University of Pennsylvania via the Coursera platform. Amazing how easy access is to world-class research and teachers today. It is an online course – and does not give any credits whatsoever – however, it does provide an in-depth insight into what constitutes a happy and flourishing life – delivered by the founding fathers of Positive Psychology – what is not to like!
So, what can you learn from Positive Psychology? Is it not just a lot of talk about optimism, flow and happiness? Well, basically yes, but it is well-grounded in research into what makes a good life.
Happiness is a slippery concept. Sometimes it seems to us like the Holy Grail: mythical, wonderful, but probably unobtainable. But Positive Psychology suggests that happiness is more than obtainable. It is the natural result of building up our well-being and satisfaction with life.
Professor Martin Seligman spent many years developing a theory of happiness. He wanted to identify the building blocks of well-being. He drew up a five-sided model of well-being called the PERMA model. According to Seligman, PERMA makes up five important building blocks of well-being and happiness:
Positive emotions – feeling good
Engagement – being completely absorbed in activities
Relationships – being authentically connected to others
Meaning – purposeful existence
Achievement – a sense of accomplishment and success
1. Positive Emotion
When someone asks you whether you are satisfied with your life, your answer depends heavily on the mood you are in. Feeling good helps us to perform better at work and study; it boosts our physical health; it strengthens our relationships; and it inspires us to be creative, take chances, and look to the future with optimism and hope.
How do I fare on this? Well, what makes you feel good is a very individual matter. Over the years I have learned to make sure to focus on the things that matter to me. In short, the recipe I am trying to follow is doing what I like doing – and remember to enjoy the moment. It can be small things like seeing the squirrels in the garden playing in the first beam of sun in the spring or diving with a tiger shark off the coast of Costa Rica. It does not matter what it is. What matters is that you stop and enjoy the moments and the emotions that follows. And begin to notice what makes you feel good. It might be spending time with friends and family, engaging in hobbies, exercising, getting out in nature, or eating great food.
The question you should be asking: What makes you feel good?
2. Engagement
We do not thrive when we are doing nothing. We get bored and feel useless. I know. It is so tempting to hit the snooze button in the morning, but it rarely makes me feeling better. But when we engage with our life and work, we become absorbed. We gain momentum and focus, and we can enter the state known as ‘flow’. In Positive Psychology, ‘flow’ describes a state of utter, blissful immersion in the present moment. When we identify our own greatest strengths, we can consciously engage in work and activities that make us feel most confident, productive, and valuable
How do I fare on this? I have discovered that I can totally be in “flow” when I am running. I get the feeling of flying through space, only worrying where to put my feet. I do not have any thoughts in my head – only the sound of my breathing being absorbed entirely in the present moment. There is no past or future – only the present moment. I can also experience “flow” when engaged in a coaching session only focusing on the other person. Engaged and immersed in the present moment. The funny thing about “flow” is that it makes you fully aware about the relativity of time. When in flow, time passes so quickly.
The question you should be asking: What makes you get into “flow” – and do you prioritize these activities enough?
3. Relationships
Humans are social animals. We enhance our own well-being by building strong networks of relationships around us, with family, friends, coworkers etc. It is important to build and maintain relationships with the people in your life, but it is equally important to recognize the difference between a healthy relationship and a damaging one. As humans, we do not thrive being alone in the world. However, not every relationship is a good one. Carefully balancing the relationships that give you energy is essential to a happy life – and equally energy-thieves, i.e. relationships that take more energy as the give.
How do I fare on this? I am a born introvert. So, happy in my own company. In essence I do not need a big network but strive on a handful of trusted relationships within each of my personal spheres – being family, work and hobbies (aka the local triathlon community). As a Dane, I have also discovered, that people in general are not so open to new relationships, compared to other cultures. You sort of hang out with the people you already know. But entering new social networks – via new job situations, new hobbies, travels etc. – do provide an ever-open opportunity to connect with new people.
The question you should be asking: Do you prioritize the good relationships in your life – and avoid the energy-thieves, i.e. bad relationships?
4. Meaning
We are at our best when we dedicate our time to something greater than ourselves. This could be religious faith, community work, family, a political cause, a charity, a professional or creative goal.
Studies have shown that people who belong to a community and pursue shared goals are happier than people who don’t. It is also very important to feel that the work we do is consistent with our personal values and beliefs. From day to day, if we believe our work is worthwhile, we feel a general sense of well-being and confidence that we are using our time and our abilities in a good way.
How do I fare on this? I have spent a fair amount of time getting to the bottom of who I am. Sounds silly I know, but looking at myself from the outside, I can now see a totally different person compared to who I was as a teenager (absolutely no clue of what was going on); focusing on getting through my studies in my twenties; happily entering the rat-race in my 30s convinced that everything was about getting a career – to now in my mid-40s. Much better understanding of my values and strengths – and how I make them come into play in my daily life.
The question you should be asking: What do you value most in this world?
5. Achievement
Creating and working toward goals help us anticipate and build hope for the future. Past successes make us feel more confident and optimistic about future attempts. There is nothing bad or selfish about being proud of your accomplishments. When you feel good about yourself, you are more likely to share your skills and secrets with others. You will be motivated to work harder and achieve more next time. You may even inspire the people around you to achieve their own goals.
How do I fare on this? I am also extremely cautious about how I spend my time. As I have come to realize many times, time is the most scarce resource in this life. So, to ensure that I am spending my time the right way, I have developed a number of personal goals for different aspect of my life. Some are easier to realize – others require some effort. As an example of an “easy” goal, I am trying to eat less meat and more vegetables. I am not there yet but taking steps in the right direction. Likewise, I have a more ambitious goal of visiting 100 countries before I am 50. Again, not there yet, but slowly making progress despite the different challenges we all have to face right new. In the end, life is a game, and the one with the most experiences win.
The question you should be asking: What goals are you working toward right now?
And yes, you can measure it if you want to. Go to the https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/ site of University of Pennsylvania, and find the PERMA test within the folder for questionnaires (you do need to register).
A final word from me, if you want to improve your overall happiness, research has shown, that working on your gratitude will impact your overall happiness and well-being significantly.
And how do you do that, I hear you ask. Quite simple, try the “three blessings” exercise for a week. The three blessings exercise demands that you focus your attention, as you end your day, on three things that went well and why they went well. These three things do not have to be earthshattering: they can be as small as a beautiful flower you looked at. This re-educates your attention toward the positive.
Every night for the next week, right before you go to bed, write down three things that went well today. These things can be small and ordinary in importance. Think about why this good thing happened.