The 7 pitfalls that will prevent you from reaching your goals

Do or do not - there is no try

I guess we have all been there. We start up with big goals and ambitions, not only for ourselves, but for our company and our employees.

We get excited and we start dreaming. And if we get really excited, we start mumbling something about Moonshots and Tesla cars. Often, we also know what to do. But then the film stops. Something is holding us back. Fear.

Fear of failing, fear of being humiliated, fear of not knowing if we can pull it off.

Since our childhood we have been taught to avoid discomfort. We have learned to fit in, and learned how to survive in our family, kindergarten, school etc. But if we keep limiting ourselves and allowing ourselves to avoid discomfort, we will never grow. If we want to make change happen, we need to learn how to withstand fear, humiliation and discomfort.

Over the past years I have had the privilege to coach some fantastic people and businesses, each with their own dreams and ambitions. Every dream is of course different – still, there are some common pitfalls to avoid when setting up BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals).

1. Lack of focus – When Bill Gates first met Warren Buffett, their host at dinner, Gates’ mother, asked everyone around the table to identify what they believed was the single most important factor in their success through life. Gates and Buffett gave the same one-word answer: “Focus”. And it is quite simple, if you do not focus on you goals and ambitions, nothing will happen.
   Q: Do you spend time and resources pursuing your goals – and is it really a priority?
   
   

2. Your own expectations –Does everything you do need to be flawless? If so, your pursuit of perfection might be holding you back. When we set up rigid goals for ourselves or our business, it is very difficult to succeed. I have fallen into the trap way too many times. I dream up a goal, which is impossible to reach – and beat myself when I do not. Don’t be too harsh on yourself!
   Q: Do you take time out to appreciate what you have achieved or do you focus on what is coming next?
   

3. Comparing yourself to others – Question: “How much do you want to earn?” – Answer “Hmmm, don’t know, but more than my neighbor”. Most of us compare ourselves to a friend, colleague, or the next-door business in the quest to figure out “how we’re doing”. Don’t. Others’ so-called "perfection" is an illusion, and it does not say anything about your own progress. What matters is where you are going, and if you are on the right track.
   Q: Do you compare yourself to others or where you are coming from?
   
   

4. Fear of failure – We all have fears. Its human. Fear of failure is one of them. The only difference between successful people and not so successful people is if they are letting their fear limit themselves. As Dr. Brene Brown writes in her book “The Gifts of Imperfection” courage is a virtue, and virtues are developed as habits. This means that you can change if you want to.  Do as Dr. Brown and wake up in the morning and think “No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough”. Don’t let fear hold you back.
   Q: In what situations do you want to have more courage?

5. Care about what others think – It is easy to see the flaws and faults of other people or businesses working their ass off in pursuit of their dreams. Too many people comment and critique what other people are doing. But to be honest, they do not know what is driving you forward, what you have achieved or what matters to you. If you know what you want and you embrace yourself and your goals, you are good to go. The rest is noise.
   Q: Do you have a clear picture of what is important to you?
   

6. Not anticipating the tough times – Cannot help it, but Sylvester Stallone’s old boxing character Rocky Balboa coined this better than anybody else. “You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”. There will be tough times, but without the pain there is no change. And growing outside your comfort zone hurts.
   Q: Are you able to accept things as they are and will you embrace the suck for something better on the other side?
   

7. Making excuses – Been here, trust me. There is always going to be an abundance of excuses. However, excuses start off as good intentions to keep you safe. But the more you make excuses, the easier it is to make even more excuses, and so it continues. You cannot control everything in this world, but you cannot blame everybody else. Start taking responsibility for your own life and start doing.
   Q: Where do you excel; making excuses or at execution?
   

If you want to make change, it all starts with you. There will be many critics and commentators, no applauds when you fall, and no one will help you get up on your feet again. But you will know what you are doing and what drives you forward.

In 1910 US President Theodore Roosevelt spoke at the Sorbonne in the Grand Amphitheater at the University of Paris. He had come to Paris give his Citizenship in a Republic speech. Roosevelt firmly believed that one learned by doing.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

However, sometimes we all need a little push along the way. Therefore, it might be a good idea to hire a business coach. When you think of the word ‘coach’, you are most likely to think of a sports coach, right? And fair enough, today most of the coaching taking place has found its departure within sports, which was accelerated when Tim Gallwey wrote “The Inner Game of Tennis” in 1974.

And yes, it is difficult to find a professional athlete without a coach today. However, we are beginning to see increasing acceptance of using business coaches in the corporate world. Great CEOs like Steve Jobs, Eric Schmidt, and Bill Gates all sought out great coaches to help them up their game. Why do they use coaches? Because they realize that to achieve peak performance, they need a wingman. Even Tom Cruise needed a wingman in Top Gun.

The business executive/owner’s role is to
- Acknowledge the need for change
- Commit to the desired end-state
- Take responsibility for making the change
- Execute the plan

The business coach’s role is to
- Challenge your perspectives and the real motives
- Sharpen the goal and break it down into an actionable plan
- See things you do not and tell it as it is
- Provide ongoing encouragement and feedback

A business coach cannot only help you identify what it is you really want, but they will create a personal plan that helps you find success and ignite the change. A business coach can help you accomplish your goals and dreams faster, walking alongside you.

And as the greatest coach of all times (Yoda) would say “Do or do not - there is no try”.